Dear Friends,
I feel deeply grateful for the abandonment stories and questions you have shared here. It is validating for me, even comforting to give voice to this part of gardening.
Michele how you have offered your and your mother's story especially (through our email chain) affected me, reading it as I prepared to go on retreat both made me feel less alone and allowed for more of those shadow questions to come out and be seen.
As I drove down through the heart of Florida, in the northeastern Atlantic side of the state, down to the southwestern coast, I think I cried about 4 of the 5 hours of the drive, in touch with a deep and much larger than personal abandonment story. It felt true to the land herself, to the old cultures of Florida, to these strange and beautiful migrations in body and or in spirit we make in trying to connect with each other.
It is an interesting place I find myself lately. Asking for our abandonment stories to come out, to be seen, not so much so that we may wallow in our wounds and salve each other with surface compassions, but so that the secretness or the perception of isolation of these stories can meet the light, can meet each other's.
Perhaps that is what has pained me when I visit that little abandoned garden and like places, not that the abandonment has happened to whatever degree, but more that the story was is not being tended to? I don't know what to do sometimes with what I kinesthetically 'hear.' And I do believe that hearing such stories together releases something powerful of the pattern....
As I continue to ponder Gilles' and Terry's new questions -- "How do we beautify and nurture ourselves?" and "Do we have to abandon what contaminates our lives...?" -- both today are bringing me back to the healing work of storytelling and storycatching (as Christina Baldwin names it).
Listening and gently questioning the stories we tell ourselves in our inner gardening (I am not financially secure; I will be abandoned) as well as those we share and cultivate outwardly seems a critical stepping stone for our own paths and the paths in which we work to come together on.
Perhaps that is at the core of what I appreciate about the simplicity of our virtual circle calls for that reason.
I would say to Terry's question that stories of what contaminates our lives can be a great lever for not abandoning what contaminates us by inviting that shadow or toxin to be seen, heard, and come to be loved different, and this yet allows for new creation to emerge more intentionally....and so in this way story practice is one way in which we may beautify and nurture ourselves.
My time with the Art of Hosting retreat in Tampa, of which Tenneson was a part as well, confirmed the power of this for me. In releasing some of the stories I had carried, stories of Florida violences not my own that I feared had gone un-listened to, and in hearing others' stories that paralleled or coalesced with my own curious journeying was/is healing practice.
And this practice is what I am growing into as a shape for my being and doing in the world....which is fascinating because as a 'creative writer' and 'professor' I have a good deal of training in many methodologies of this and I am delighted to be letting go of making room for these practices we and like circles are discovering!
Much gratitude,
you all will be in my thoughts next Sunday though I will not be able to join the call
With heart,
Holly
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
How do we beautify and nurture ourselves?
Lovely Gardeners,
How is everyone doing?
In response to Holly’s post and inquiry, I would like to make a separate entry and introduce a new theme.
Through Holly’s post, discussions I had with Lenore and Lucy, and exchange with a friend of mine in Scotland, a new theme, a new pattern of inquiry emerged in my life:
And this pattern is,
“How do we beautify and nurture ourselves?"
So that, by ripple effect, we can help others do the same – taking care of the abandoned portions of their gardens.
In terms of the tangible aspect of beautifying, my friend Maggie sent me a website link:
Guerilla Gardening
http://www.guerrillagardening.org/
This site is about people taking initiatives in their neighborhoods to ‘beautify’ a piece of land, the corner of their streets, or a park they walk through regularly. It seems to be a UK-based website but you’ll find pictures of ‘beautified gardens’ in Germany, the US and Canada – and will be amazed at the changes (they show pictures before and after the beautification).
So, then, how do we do the same in our lives? How do we beautify and nurture the garden within? This is indeed a beautiful ‘gardening inquiry.’
I don’t have any straight answer but can certainly share my own experience, having evolved and grown in a fairly hierarchical (religious) organization where I donated a good amount of time and money for the past twenty years. I am somewhat detached of this organization now, although I am still pursuing the spiritual practice that came with the organization.
At times, without this firm ground (a structure that gives you answers when you need them – you go for guidance with ‘seniors’ whenever you need it), I feel a bit like walking in water, not really knowing where the bottom is. And I am in a state of inquiry about what will come out of this new phase, out of this muddy water, a bit unsettled as I am. But aren’t we all looking for some sort, or some amount, of certainty in our lives?
Abandonment comes and goes in many ways, in many forms. One way I can relate to abandonment is through my fear of “not having enough money.” Will I become abandoned if I don’t have money? It was -and still is- huge in my mother, to the point that she never borrowed any money, and will never do. Her savings account is her psychological security blanket. In some ways, it also serves as the mother she lost 26 years ago.
I have been aware of that same fear in me for a long time and have worked on it, successfully, through my spiritual practice, to the point that I am now learning about the opposite challenge: non-possession, and how one “cleanses herself/himself” through non-possession.
Non-possession sounds like a weird idea in the world in which we live today, where many “have made the modern materialistic craze their goal.” (in Gandhi’s words).
A few paragraphs of Gandhi’s speeches have caught my attention lately (in the Chapter: The Gospel of Non-Possession).
“It is open to the world to laugh at my dispossessing myself of all property. For me, dispossession has been a positive gain. I would like people to compete with me in my contentment. It is the richest treasure I own. Hence it is perhaps right to say that, though I preach poverty, I am a rich man!”
“Civilization, in the real sense of the term, consists not in the multiplication, but in the deliberate and voluntary reduction of wants. This alone promotes real happiness and contentment, and increases the capacity for service.”
“The highest fulfillment of religion requires a giving up of all possession. Having ascertained the law of our being, we must set about reducing it to practice to the extent of our capacity and no further. That is the middle way.”
“Everyone has a right and should desire to live 125 years while performing service without an eye on result. Such life must be wholly and solely dedicated to service. Renunciation made for the sake of such service in an ineffable joy of which none can deprive one, because that nectar springs from within and sustains life. In this, there is no room for worry or impatience.”
Where does all of this take me in terms of beautifying my own garden? Honestly, I don’t know, and this is a bit of my gardening path that I wanted to share with you today on Mothers’ Day; a day of nurturance, beauty and appreciation.
The only thing I know for sure, is that there is a cosmic pattern in the way we garden ourselves, meaning that these ‘abandonment’ occurrences and this ‘beautifying’ theme did not magically coalesce into my consciousness today to create what I am writing. They were meant to happen and there are here for a reason.
Could this reason be our own evolution – our evolution as a species?
Love from the Garden Sate!
Gilles
How is everyone doing?
In response to Holly’s post and inquiry, I would like to make a separate entry and introduce a new theme.
Through Holly’s post, discussions I had with Lenore and Lucy, and exchange with a friend of mine in Scotland, a new theme, a new pattern of inquiry emerged in my life:
And this pattern is,
“How do we beautify and nurture ourselves?"
So that, by ripple effect, we can help others do the same – taking care of the abandoned portions of their gardens.
In terms of the tangible aspect of beautifying, my friend Maggie sent me a website link:
Guerilla Gardening
http://www.guerrillagardening.org/
This site is about people taking initiatives in their neighborhoods to ‘beautify’ a piece of land, the corner of their streets, or a park they walk through regularly. It seems to be a UK-based website but you’ll find pictures of ‘beautified gardens’ in Germany, the US and Canada – and will be amazed at the changes (they show pictures before and after the beautification).
So, then, how do we do the same in our lives? How do we beautify and nurture the garden within? This is indeed a beautiful ‘gardening inquiry.’
I don’t have any straight answer but can certainly share my own experience, having evolved and grown in a fairly hierarchical (religious) organization where I donated a good amount of time and money for the past twenty years. I am somewhat detached of this organization now, although I am still pursuing the spiritual practice that came with the organization.
At times, without this firm ground (a structure that gives you answers when you need them – you go for guidance with ‘seniors’ whenever you need it), I feel a bit like walking in water, not really knowing where the bottom is. And I am in a state of inquiry about what will come out of this new phase, out of this muddy water, a bit unsettled as I am. But aren’t we all looking for some sort, or some amount, of certainty in our lives?
Abandonment comes and goes in many ways, in many forms. One way I can relate to abandonment is through my fear of “not having enough money.” Will I become abandoned if I don’t have money? It was -and still is- huge in my mother, to the point that she never borrowed any money, and will never do. Her savings account is her psychological security blanket. In some ways, it also serves as the mother she lost 26 years ago.
I have been aware of that same fear in me for a long time and have worked on it, successfully, through my spiritual practice, to the point that I am now learning about the opposite challenge: non-possession, and how one “cleanses herself/himself” through non-possession.
Non-possession sounds like a weird idea in the world in which we live today, where many “have made the modern materialistic craze their goal.” (in Gandhi’s words).
A few paragraphs of Gandhi’s speeches have caught my attention lately (in the Chapter: The Gospel of Non-Possession).
“It is open to the world to laugh at my dispossessing myself of all property. For me, dispossession has been a positive gain. I would like people to compete with me in my contentment. It is the richest treasure I own. Hence it is perhaps right to say that, though I preach poverty, I am a rich man!”
“Civilization, in the real sense of the term, consists not in the multiplication, but in the deliberate and voluntary reduction of wants. This alone promotes real happiness and contentment, and increases the capacity for service.”
“The highest fulfillment of religion requires a giving up of all possession. Having ascertained the law of our being, we must set about reducing it to practice to the extent of our capacity and no further. That is the middle way.”
“Everyone has a right and should desire to live 125 years while performing service without an eye on result. Such life must be wholly and solely dedicated to service. Renunciation made for the sake of such service in an ineffable joy of which none can deprive one, because that nectar springs from within and sustains life. In this, there is no room for worry or impatience.”
Where does all of this take me in terms of beautifying my own garden? Honestly, I don’t know, and this is a bit of my gardening path that I wanted to share with you today on Mothers’ Day; a day of nurturance, beauty and appreciation.
The only thing I know for sure, is that there is a cosmic pattern in the way we garden ourselves, meaning that these ‘abandonment’ occurrences and this ‘beautifying’ theme did not magically coalesce into my consciousness today to create what I am writing. They were meant to happen and there are here for a reason.
Could this reason be our own evolution – our evolution as a species?
Love from the Garden Sate!
Gilles
Monday, April 21, 2008
abandoned garden
Below are images of an abandoned garden I have been walking to of late. The old Florida mid-rise in the background is where I live. I walk through the neighborhood on my side of the river, cross a drawbridge (just to the left of the photograph frame) and through the neighborhood on the opposite bank to an open lot whose former house has been leveled.
Walking there has been emotional on many days; sitting in a space not my own and untended has allowed a lot of shadow and even pain to emerge in me. This has resonance to some of what has been surfacing that I have not voiced on our calls and in receiving the invitations sometimes.
I want to share with the group some of that experience, and know I will benefit from like-minded 'gardeners' on this process; yet I thought first, instead of just hurling out my story, MY etc., I would like to hear your thoughts and reactions to viewing these images.
(My apologies for the over-exposure in the middle image; my Photoshop program has been corrupted somehow and I am awaiting a replacement version.)
What do you see?
What do you sense in this place?
Does it activate a desire?
How do you imagine you would feel standing there by the river in the brick frame, on the sandy Florida soil, between the loose weeds, in the sun?
abandoned garden along Ortega River, a large tributary off the St. Johns River, one of the few rivers that travels south-north
Walking there has been emotional on many days; sitting in a space not my own and untended has allowed a lot of shadow and even pain to emerge in me. This has resonance to some of what has been surfacing that I have not voiced on our calls and in receiving the invitations sometimes.
I want to share with the group some of that experience, and know I will benefit from like-minded 'gardeners' on this process; yet I thought first, instead of just hurling out my story, MY etc., I would like to hear your thoughts and reactions to viewing these images.
(My apologies for the over-exposure in the middle image; my Photoshop program has been corrupted somehow and I am awaiting a replacement version.)
What do you see?
What do you sense in this place?
Does it activate a desire?
How do you imagine you would feel standing there by the river in the brick frame, on the sandy Florida soil, between the loose weeds, in the sun?
abandoned garden along Ortega River, a large tributary off the St. Johns River, one of the few rivers that travels south-north
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Phone Council Podcast - March 30, 2008
Please click here to listen to the March 30 Phone Council podcast.
If you have any difficulty downloading the file, right-click on "here" and select "save link as..."
Many thanks to everyone who participated and to those of you who made this podcast possible.
If you have any difficulty downloading the file, right-click on "here" and select "save link as..."
Many thanks to everyone who participated and to those of you who made this podcast possible.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Happy Spring!
Happy Spring to all of you Gardeners - in the northern hemisphere!
This is indeed a very meaningful time of the year; a time full of promises and potential for creation.
As Judy said the other day, "the seeds of peace are awakening."
Happy gardening!
Gilles
This is indeed a very meaningful time of the year; a time full of promises and potential for creation.
As Judy said the other day, "the seeds of peace are awakening."
Happy gardening!
Gilles
Gardeners February 17 phone council harvest
Opened 10 minutes early for silence
Piano music of Michael Jones – Touch – in the background
Gardeners:
Tenneson
Holly
Lenore
Judy
Junahli
Sheri
Laurel
Elizabeth
Gilles
Introduction Ten with Meg Wheatley quote:
“Who we are together is always different and more than who we are alone.”
Reading Jan 13 phone council quote:
“Human beings need and want to be in authentic connection with each other. It helps all of us to respond to the challenges and opportunities of our times – in self, team, community, and society.”
Purpose of Gardeners
Seeds of peace planted deeply in the heart – in everyone’s heart.
Mentioned letter from Gardener the night before + Gilles’ response
Acknowledged Terry from Paris and Peter from Sydney
Introduction: Candle, talking piece (bracelet of wooden beads from many circles) and some guidelines for speaking on the call
-listen with attention
-speak with intention
-tend to the well-being of the group
Planning of the council:
-15 minute check-in: What gardening is alive in you?
- 30-45 minutes: pop corn questions (3 questions from the invitation) and what’s next
-10 minutes: closing space
Guardian: Explains her role as the guardian to be in this virtual room, to notice the natural shifts, to ring the pottery bell.
Check-in: What gardening is alive in you?
Inner gardening practice alive on a sunny afternoon in Utah viewing through the window the snow-covered school yard
Religious practice of the family – energy was off
My daughter left behind that morning on the way to church – but it is a walkable distance
Need to reground today after experiencing some scattered energy
Walked around the house with bells, put Michael’s music on and sat on the floor
Shift of energy, from grumpy to more harmonious - “I am ready to listen” space.
Easy to get lost in ‘bad’ energy – simple breathing and steps that reground, shift the pattern, reach emptiness and openness
First time on the call - exceptional place today: yoga in the morning and massage in the afternoon, feels spoiled
Anticipation re continuation of the day: “I have a body”
Gardening – body centered. Bring from within to without.
Spread from self to trickle outwards.
Gardeners’ concept: small and large ways for ourselves and others
Job – few gardeners in the area: my job is art and healing practice
Offer the earth, painter, educator – focus into that practice
Group connections and tendrils around the globe are important – all attached with gardening
As the blossom popping up out of the pavement, how do we continue to find the soil?
Relate to the metaphor: “Blossoming out of the pavement”
Living in Florida, 3rd floor balcony apartment
Creek below, river, low tide, mud and even smell
Gardening: grieving other people’s sediments. Is this a healthy practice?
I have not dealt with sediments, and I wonder
Feel in tune with these layers of mud that have been left around.
Coming into that place – not only me – my space
Listen and not get stuck in the mud
In Burlington, Ontario
At my desk; freezing rain
15 morning doves outside: sense of the feminine, eternity, peace
Monday – family day – holiday in Canada
Am on my own today, getting a breather from one another
Attracted to the call. I feel more like myself in community.
Our garden – women’s leadership circle.
Building on Christina and Meg’s authenticity and richness of conversation.
Gardening very alive in me.
What am I going to get out of this council?
Feel more like myself – this type of community, even a virtual community
Love the talking piece – tool; it’s enormous, allows you to speak from the heart
Will I think of what to say or allow the flow to carry me?
Found it in the previous contribution.
Where I want to go (in my life) – sense of direction
Body of water near me – tide ½ way up; lots of ducks
Alive in me: desire for human connection, authenticity
Words can mean so much
Went to the Shambhala Institute (Halifax) 3 years ago (July 05) and enjoyed the rich diversity of the Global Village Square – 80 people all together, maybe 3-4 US Americans
Felt lonely back home – didn’t want to leave the room
Opened a portal, inner calling to look within and then to connect with those around the world to bring meaning and hope to others. Not something we do alone.
Zig zag path: never losing sight of my inner calling
More Check-ins Limit to one minute (Ten instruction)
In Santa Fe
Wonderful morning. Intense times.
Buddha Belly plant – seed pods bursting, 1 pod each night. Germinate during the day.
Friend from Madagascar – gave me the plant for my birthday
Waiting for the right moment to germinate – it is growing
Today is the right day – germination – turn around
Inner gardening inspiration – risk – circles - new ventures – I have my own
Gardening alive in me – part of who I am – sense of Collective Self
Emergence: reconnection to the sacred
Exploring the sacred feminine and wholeness of knowing
Interested in astrology – exploring that part of my inner garden again
Not well for the past 10 days.
Something is alive in my body. Is there a message that I need to listen to?
Much travel – Asia, France for the past two months
Now home and need to slow down
I am listening to that message
In New York city
Gardening and nurturing go together
Peace is nurturing me and I am nurturing peace – sense of mutual relationships – needs to nurture it
Essence of the conversation – looking into the questions from the invitation and also what’s next
What comes into the room – energy
Extension of stories shared so far; lots of beauty in sharing stories
What is possible with the Gardeners?
What wants to be born?
What are the connections with others? With other groups?
Why not another group?
What shape might want to be born here?
What is your thinking, what are your desires?
Need to back up
First time phone council for me
Am curious
- who wants to be with this community?
- people who are working / gardening?
I want to be with like-spirited people where inner gardening is a priority
Am not sure others can’t connect as well
True for others who are also first timers on the call
Community of people who have like-minded hearts
See where that thread goes
Is it about being or doing?
Idea of a circle, virtual circle – sitting around together – it’s about ‘being’
Then perhaps we each are active locally
With this group, hear the bell, check into the group’s energy.
Check in with other groups for local activities in Santa Fe
Gardening activities have a ‘being’ part and a face-to-face part
Maybe I could express inner and outer gardening with the green sustainable school garden.
I am noticing how my body feels being here.
My body feels different when my family goes to church – feel that maybe I should be with them. Feels so obligatory
I want to feel a different spirit this morning
Different kind of breathing, inner peace, inner gardening. It feels great.
Church transition story for me – inner peace
Gardeners of Peace: it is about a call, an energy that you are invited to, know it is there.
In person gathering: January was too early so shifted into phone council format.
Need to listen to people’s feelings and words
In the now / value – “where you are”
Obliged to go to church as a child (grew up in Ohio)
Looking forward to this call – to coming together
It feels a bit like going to church, a new form of church
Respectful ways of listening – of communicating
Deep questions for reflect on – this is the ‘being’ part
Exploration together
Would value the opportunity to get together and
Also value the very present and silent space of these calls.
Yoga as worship – substitute for church
Thought for this group: phone call
Image of beads and phone call – can join from anywhere
Different ways to start the germination / seeds
Scatter and see which land or plant correctly with many in one place. Graft one strong plant to another existing plant.
We can plant in a different number of holes – same intention in different places
Each gardener has different skills
Would like to see the group stay expansive
Seed in a pot this morning – needs the right conditions
No demand that we show up the same way
We show up the way we are – abundant blessings, gifts
Stay open, not judge it to be this or that
Fertilizer
Spaciousness in our lives, both being and doing
Landscaping work too
How do people relate to church, if not Christian? – do we have any non-Christians here?
Yes, Jewish
Yes, Buddhist
This reminds me of the Buddhist concept of human revolution – revolutionizing oneself from within
Want to talk about Being and Doing
Being: Tending self and earth as gardens
Read from previous invitation:
“Human beings need and want to be in authentic connection with each other.
It helps all of us to respond to the challenges and opportunities of our times – in self, team, community, and society.”
We need to be in “authentic connection” with our selves as well
To come into connection with others means to be in connection with oneself
Experience searching the Hollyhock website – trying to find out about a workshop
Christina Baldwin circle practicum (first possibility)
Also Donald Walsh and Conversations with God (second possibility)
Then Maria and Sarah and community in Greece – Axladitsa (yet another possibility)
I finally realized that I kept looking outside (for a workshop of some sort), not realizing the answers are within
Talk to others and then tend my own garden.
Balance connection with others and connection to self
Doing – getting together still a possibility
Sufi retreat center in New York state (in New Lebanon)
Also could come together locally and harvest locally and then share with larger group.
There are several people in Mass. and several in New Jersey.
See what seeds germinate
What’s next? What is being created?
We are different people in different ways
I need to understand what the Gardeners are before thinking about what is next.
Do I want to do this? This is when I feel most myself.
This is what church could be.
That is what people are connecting to.
Sacred space, sanctuary, people aren’t going to find that elsewhere.
Connection to the “sacred space” – outer vs. inner
Is it a new expression of what ‘church wants to be’?
What is it? What is next?
Typical questions I find in circles.
Culture-bound Western reaction: we are ‘doing’ beings
We need action, activity
Is it doing or being? I can’t decide?
Being – doing
Sensing a new way of being active, of being alive
Holding space / grace into the circle, the silence, stillness, presence
Still feel very active, very alive
Learning to be active in a different, new way
Would like to do these kinds of conversations / calls more
What wants to be next is more of this
Space where people feel nurtured, appreciated, can be anywhere
Spiritual church
A way of coming in and out of space / place
Ducks coming and going – similar ways of coming in and out of ourselves
Part of the beauty of what it is
One of the questions in the invitation has a “what’s next?” feel.
I feel myself clamp up a bit.
Need meaning, this circle is a practice in the ‘now’
I like the question of what it means to ‘do’ or to ‘be.’
Delighted by the call. Not too much in my head
There are people I know / people I don’t know
I like what I hear and how I am feeling.
Very much feeling the joy of the moment of ‘now’
Shift in pattern in my own body.
Meg Wheatley’s quote:
“Who we are together is always different and more than who we are alone.”
At energetic level and doing level, sensing energetics.
What are the outcomes? Deliberate outcomes?
Energy of friendship, of being together, of what’s in the middle is the strongest takeaway.
Periodic calls to drop into.
Come back with some good questions.
Metaphor of pearl divers
Usually in pairs, rope around the waist, one counts breaths, the other searches for the treasure.
Rope connection gives trust.
Opportunities when we explore together.
Know someone else is there.
Explore, take turns.
On the call we can be there for each other.
Definition of Gardeners?
Are we struggling to define who we are – it’s elusive
Open space that is evolving
“What’s next?” is maybe “What’s now?”
Closing Space
What’s now? Any voice, any image coming to mind?
Image of the ground in winter
The soil, we can’t see what’s alive in there,
But we hope vegetables will grow down the road.
What’s now? Keep nurturing, keep nurturing
Ducks in their school together
Together – in and out, up and down.
Now – continue collectively, in and out
Can we use peace as a verb? Can you please peace?
Happy to join
Feeling of peace
Feeling stretched – piece of glass
Graft – raw edge not fully connected
Feeling in touch, connected
Yearning – yearning for authentic connection
Peace – peace is a way to respond to the yearning for authentic connection
Here / now: two cats purring and cleaning one another.
Picture for peace – connection
Holds the beads
I have a sense of appreciation for having learned and felt a lot, for being at peace.
I have a sense of welcoming the next part in the day and to share some of this with the gang.
Sacred space – grateful – Presence
Closed with silence and Michael Jones piano
Piano music of Michael Jones – Touch – in the background
Gardeners:
Tenneson
Holly
Lenore
Judy
Junahli
Sheri
Laurel
Elizabeth
Gilles
Introduction Ten with Meg Wheatley quote:
“Who we are together is always different and more than who we are alone.”
Reading Jan 13 phone council quote:
“Human beings need and want to be in authentic connection with each other. It helps all of us to respond to the challenges and opportunities of our times – in self, team, community, and society.”
Purpose of Gardeners
Seeds of peace planted deeply in the heart – in everyone’s heart.
Mentioned letter from Gardener the night before + Gilles’ response
Acknowledged Terry from Paris and Peter from Sydney
Introduction: Candle, talking piece (bracelet of wooden beads from many circles) and some guidelines for speaking on the call
-listen with attention
-speak with intention
-tend to the well-being of the group
Planning of the council:
-15 minute check-in: What gardening is alive in you?
- 30-45 minutes: pop corn questions (3 questions from the invitation) and what’s next
-10 minutes: closing space
Guardian: Explains her role as the guardian to be in this virtual room, to notice the natural shifts, to ring the pottery bell.
Check-in: What gardening is alive in you?
Inner gardening practice alive on a sunny afternoon in Utah viewing through the window the snow-covered school yard
Religious practice of the family – energy was off
My daughter left behind that morning on the way to church – but it is a walkable distance
Need to reground today after experiencing some scattered energy
Walked around the house with bells, put Michael’s music on and sat on the floor
Shift of energy, from grumpy to more harmonious - “I am ready to listen” space.
Easy to get lost in ‘bad’ energy – simple breathing and steps that reground, shift the pattern, reach emptiness and openness
First time on the call - exceptional place today: yoga in the morning and massage in the afternoon, feels spoiled
Anticipation re continuation of the day: “I have a body”
Gardening – body centered. Bring from within to without.
Spread from self to trickle outwards.
Gardeners’ concept: small and large ways for ourselves and others
Job – few gardeners in the area: my job is art and healing practice
Offer the earth, painter, educator – focus into that practice
Group connections and tendrils around the globe are important – all attached with gardening
As the blossom popping up out of the pavement, how do we continue to find the soil?
Relate to the metaphor: “Blossoming out of the pavement”
Living in Florida, 3rd floor balcony apartment
Creek below, river, low tide, mud and even smell
Gardening: grieving other people’s sediments. Is this a healthy practice?
I have not dealt with sediments, and I wonder
Feel in tune with these layers of mud that have been left around.
Coming into that place – not only me – my space
Listen and not get stuck in the mud
In Burlington, Ontario
At my desk; freezing rain
15 morning doves outside: sense of the feminine, eternity, peace
Monday – family day – holiday in Canada
Am on my own today, getting a breather from one another
Attracted to the call. I feel more like myself in community.
Our garden – women’s leadership circle.
Building on Christina and Meg’s authenticity and richness of conversation.
Gardening very alive in me.
What am I going to get out of this council?
Feel more like myself – this type of community, even a virtual community
Love the talking piece – tool; it’s enormous, allows you to speak from the heart
Will I think of what to say or allow the flow to carry me?
Found it in the previous contribution.
Where I want to go (in my life) – sense of direction
Body of water near me – tide ½ way up; lots of ducks
Alive in me: desire for human connection, authenticity
Words can mean so much
Went to the Shambhala Institute (Halifax) 3 years ago (July 05) and enjoyed the rich diversity of the Global Village Square – 80 people all together, maybe 3-4 US Americans
Felt lonely back home – didn’t want to leave the room
Opened a portal, inner calling to look within and then to connect with those around the world to bring meaning and hope to others. Not something we do alone.
Zig zag path: never losing sight of my inner calling
More Check-ins Limit to one minute (Ten instruction)
In Santa Fe
Wonderful morning. Intense times.
Buddha Belly plant – seed pods bursting, 1 pod each night. Germinate during the day.
Friend from Madagascar – gave me the plant for my birthday
Waiting for the right moment to germinate – it is growing
Today is the right day – germination – turn around
Inner gardening inspiration – risk – circles - new ventures – I have my own
Gardening alive in me – part of who I am – sense of Collective Self
Emergence: reconnection to the sacred
Exploring the sacred feminine and wholeness of knowing
Interested in astrology – exploring that part of my inner garden again
Not well for the past 10 days.
Something is alive in my body. Is there a message that I need to listen to?
Much travel – Asia, France for the past two months
Now home and need to slow down
I am listening to that message
In New York city
Gardening and nurturing go together
Peace is nurturing me and I am nurturing peace – sense of mutual relationships – needs to nurture it
Essence of the conversation – looking into the questions from the invitation and also what’s next
What comes into the room – energy
Extension of stories shared so far; lots of beauty in sharing stories
What is possible with the Gardeners?
What wants to be born?
What are the connections with others? With other groups?
Why not another group?
What shape might want to be born here?
What is your thinking, what are your desires?
Need to back up
First time phone council for me
Am curious
- who wants to be with this community?
- people who are working / gardening?
I want to be with like-spirited people where inner gardening is a priority
Am not sure others can’t connect as well
True for others who are also first timers on the call
Community of people who have like-minded hearts
See where that thread goes
Is it about being or doing?
Idea of a circle, virtual circle – sitting around together – it’s about ‘being’
Then perhaps we each are active locally
With this group, hear the bell, check into the group’s energy.
Check in with other groups for local activities in Santa Fe
Gardening activities have a ‘being’ part and a face-to-face part
Maybe I could express inner and outer gardening with the green sustainable school garden.
I am noticing how my body feels being here.
My body feels different when my family goes to church – feel that maybe I should be with them. Feels so obligatory
I want to feel a different spirit this morning
Different kind of breathing, inner peace, inner gardening. It feels great.
Church transition story for me – inner peace
Gardeners of Peace: it is about a call, an energy that you are invited to, know it is there.
In person gathering: January was too early so shifted into phone council format.
Need to listen to people’s feelings and words
In the now / value – “where you are”
Obliged to go to church as a child (grew up in Ohio)
Looking forward to this call – to coming together
It feels a bit like going to church, a new form of church
Respectful ways of listening – of communicating
Deep questions for reflect on – this is the ‘being’ part
Exploration together
Would value the opportunity to get together and
Also value the very present and silent space of these calls.
Yoga as worship – substitute for church
Thought for this group: phone call
Image of beads and phone call – can join from anywhere
Different ways to start the germination / seeds
Scatter and see which land or plant correctly with many in one place. Graft one strong plant to another existing plant.
We can plant in a different number of holes – same intention in different places
Each gardener has different skills
Would like to see the group stay expansive
Seed in a pot this morning – needs the right conditions
No demand that we show up the same way
We show up the way we are – abundant blessings, gifts
Stay open, not judge it to be this or that
Fertilizer
Spaciousness in our lives, both being and doing
Landscaping work too
How do people relate to church, if not Christian? – do we have any non-Christians here?
Yes, Jewish
Yes, Buddhist
This reminds me of the Buddhist concept of human revolution – revolutionizing oneself from within
Want to talk about Being and Doing
Being: Tending self and earth as gardens
Read from previous invitation:
“Human beings need and want to be in authentic connection with each other.
It helps all of us to respond to the challenges and opportunities of our times – in self, team, community, and society.”
We need to be in “authentic connection” with our selves as well
To come into connection with others means to be in connection with oneself
Experience searching the Hollyhock website – trying to find out about a workshop
Christina Baldwin circle practicum (first possibility)
Also Donald Walsh and Conversations with God (second possibility)
Then Maria and Sarah and community in Greece – Axladitsa (yet another possibility)
I finally realized that I kept looking outside (for a workshop of some sort), not realizing the answers are within
Talk to others and then tend my own garden.
Balance connection with others and connection to self
Doing – getting together still a possibility
Sufi retreat center in New York state (in New Lebanon)
Also could come together locally and harvest locally and then share with larger group.
There are several people in Mass. and several in New Jersey.
See what seeds germinate
What’s next? What is being created?
We are different people in different ways
I need to understand what the Gardeners are before thinking about what is next.
Do I want to do this? This is when I feel most myself.
This is what church could be.
That is what people are connecting to.
Sacred space, sanctuary, people aren’t going to find that elsewhere.
Connection to the “sacred space” – outer vs. inner
Is it a new expression of what ‘church wants to be’?
What is it? What is next?
Typical questions I find in circles.
Culture-bound Western reaction: we are ‘doing’ beings
We need action, activity
Is it doing or being? I can’t decide?
Being – doing
Sensing a new way of being active, of being alive
Holding space / grace into the circle, the silence, stillness, presence
Still feel very active, very alive
Learning to be active in a different, new way
Would like to do these kinds of conversations / calls more
What wants to be next is more of this
Space where people feel nurtured, appreciated, can be anywhere
Spiritual church
A way of coming in and out of space / place
Ducks coming and going – similar ways of coming in and out of ourselves
Part of the beauty of what it is
One of the questions in the invitation has a “what’s next?” feel.
I feel myself clamp up a bit.
Need meaning, this circle is a practice in the ‘now’
I like the question of what it means to ‘do’ or to ‘be.’
Delighted by the call. Not too much in my head
There are people I know / people I don’t know
I like what I hear and how I am feeling.
Very much feeling the joy of the moment of ‘now’
Shift in pattern in my own body.
Meg Wheatley’s quote:
“Who we are together is always different and more than who we are alone.”
At energetic level and doing level, sensing energetics.
What are the outcomes? Deliberate outcomes?
Energy of friendship, of being together, of what’s in the middle is the strongest takeaway.
Periodic calls to drop into.
Come back with some good questions.
Metaphor of pearl divers
Usually in pairs, rope around the waist, one counts breaths, the other searches for the treasure.
Rope connection gives trust.
Opportunities when we explore together.
Know someone else is there.
Explore, take turns.
On the call we can be there for each other.
Definition of Gardeners?
Are we struggling to define who we are – it’s elusive
Open space that is evolving
“What’s next?” is maybe “What’s now?”
Closing Space
What’s now? Any voice, any image coming to mind?
Image of the ground in winter
The soil, we can’t see what’s alive in there,
But we hope vegetables will grow down the road.
What’s now? Keep nurturing, keep nurturing
Ducks in their school together
Together – in and out, up and down.
Now – continue collectively, in and out
Can we use peace as a verb? Can you please peace?
Happy to join
Feeling of peace
Feeling stretched – piece of glass
Graft – raw edge not fully connected
Feeling in touch, connected
Yearning – yearning for authentic connection
Peace – peace is a way to respond to the yearning for authentic connection
Here / now: two cats purring and cleaning one another.
Picture for peace – connection
Holds the beads
I have a sense of appreciation for having learned and felt a lot, for being at peace.
I have a sense of welcoming the next part in the day and to share some of this with the gang.
Sacred space – grateful – Presence
Closed with silence and Michael Jones piano
Friday, February 1, 2008
Harvest -- January 13, 2008 Conference Call
February 1, 2008
As harvested by Lenore. See below. Or download at: http://www.box.net/shared/a6d7bzq4gw
Harvesting Notes –
Gardeners of Peace Phone Council –
01.13.08
“How can we tap into the collective power of our hearts and become aware of our ‘real’ place in the world?”
“Whether you tend a garden or not, you are the gardener of your own being, the seed of your own destiny.”
The council was opened with a check in as to what brought people to the call and GoP:
- I am attracted to, in a simple way, the connection to the heart and soul
- Quote from Marcel Proust: “If a little dreaming is dangerous, then the cure is to dream more.”
- Dare to dream a little- wondered how this process would work out as we are usually problem solving groups. What else could the world be? What else is possible for us?
- I came to the call through a friend. I am a landscape architect, theatre before that. I help people create landscapes – am very spiritual. We are all changed by our conversations. I am familiar with circle work. The Native Americans (here in Southwest) use the talking piece as a ‘listening piece’- The speaker is being listened aloud.
- I am pleased to be on this call; am an Art of Hosting practitioner, interested in the power of place, and ‘breathing’ places.
- Congratulations (to GoP) for what you are doing. I am impressed by what you are doing to help others gather. What really made me think I would like to join is how positive you are- and how you hope for a positive world. In Rwanda, where I come from, this is lacking. It is vital to be with people who are positive. Important experiences in my life and heart have been when someone has told me that I helped inspire them- because I told her that we all have a mission in life and a reason we are here.
- Consistent theme in my life has been to listen with each other- the collective process/co-creation, where the unimaginable can come together. The edge- of not knowing. What will happen when we speak- this an edge for me. The garden is about seeds and flourishing; to dream together the most imaginable. I want to join more and more groups like this to participate in this collective process- that is emerging through us.
- When I received the invitation I was drawn to the call and message. I am not a gardener, but spiritual and want to create more peace in myself and in the worlds. Trying to get touch with my higher self and spiritual self. It’s always good to be with other positive people to help me/us hold the vision. The last few years I have been drawn from working with technology to working with people who are spiritual, healers, life coaching- still trying to get my mission in life and am getting there. I think this group will help me move forward.
- Thank you for inviting me to this collective group- a pleasure to listen and learn and to help.
- It’s great to be here- I agree with what has been spoken thus far. To be honest, one of my main interests is with a group I am involved with- Spiritual Progressives. There seems to be a lot of connection between the 2 groups. The interest is in dialoging about peace in the world. Drawn to our values, compassion, seeing the sacred in everyone on the planet. If you start with these values as opposed to political stands that can be divisive, you can share more with others- with their values. Spiritual progressives are helping me to develop my own inner energy (www.spiritualprogressives.org).
- I joined late and heard the last 4 speakers; I am drawn to the GoP (Gardeners of Peace) because I am in an important transition in my life after years of working without an inner sense of peace. I want to understand how I can contribute to the exchange here.
- I have been on a spiritual path – a meaningful one. I would like to share a story: I traveled to Singapore a few weeks ago. On the flights out and back, we had similar experiences related to rules and authority. This is not a coincidence as I have been trying to “fight” rules and authority in my life. The airport security in Tokyo would not allow us to bring duty free liquor bought in Newark, NJ (bringing to family in the east). Although we talked to them (security), they said there was nothing they could do. My wife even talked to the boss - who thanked her for her ‘understanding’ and then kept the bottle. We experienced ‘facing a wall’. On the way back, transiting in Beijing, we were late (sort of) in checking back in and found that our seats had been given away. We were seated very far apart (after having had reservations- and traveling a long distance). The person at the checkout counter was Chinese and my wife spoke with her. She wouldn’t hear her about our being late. It made me think about how rules are directing our lives and as such, I see the Gardeners able to co-create their own organic (non-rule abiding) structure- to me, this experience reflects on how much progress the world needs to make to listen to itself - not just blindly listening to a so-called ‘higher authority.’
The question was spoken about the ‘power of our collective hearts’:
-When we move into our hearts we are more in a dreaming place- we can move into a deeper place- we don’t’ know what will happen but that is part of the collective power of our hearts.
- I had no idea what to expect when I came to this call- everyone who has spoken has added some richness for me. The question of our collective hearts- if others can be as open as those on this call- it’s a beginning. It begins with love and eventually pours in and out of the group. I dream of this as a way of life for everyone- the fertilization of our soul- we are not centered- we are disconnected. I am not sure what I can contribute but something will come to me – and add richness to my soul and to this.
- I have had a lot living in me from my last week’s hosting experience. When I began to work with the group (educational admistrators), I began to talk about the open heart and moving into the open heart. The hosting team wanted to go into this space, not afraid. But they worried that their 20-30 colleagues would say this is ‘soft and flaky’. They warned us to be careful- “people are not going to go for this”. Over the next few days, the open heartedness expanded. The simple question was asked: “What is the passion and heart that brought people into the room?” This created space for engagement- the pace can work with them and work with us. At the end of the time, people were in tears- expressions of shock that they would be so open hearted after so long of not doing this. Sometimes it’s the very simple things that have impact.
- I can see why my friend referred me to this group- I hear the story ‘what is the thread that you carry no matter what you do?’ And what are the seeds? Seeds have seed coats- the shedding of the coat is an ‘aggressive’ process- it experiences fire, ice, and then shed. When we are working at our own lives, and reach something difficult. It’s not just opening our hearts to other people- if you were to think about a seed or a thread- what is the thread that you carry?
- Thoughts about the ‘collective’ come to me. I think about the earth ripples – not just the people on the call, but more ripples- the more we are opening our hearts- the more others will. Gardeners of Peace appear to me today as a community to ‘be’ rather than a group to ‘do’ (the GoP). It’s a question of the world- being a garden in the world.
- What came to my mind regarding collective power of our hearts – was the most connected I feel to others is when I am intentional. I have done Reiki- and I can send something into this group- what I heard in the beginning was that everyone is at a different place of wanting to transform. Reiki helps others transform into what other ways they would like to be. Sending Reiki – is power from the heart.
- The GoP – are about ‘being’ not ‘doing’. It is a container, a vessel, not rigid, but porous.
- The last few speakers have talked about ‘being’ in our individual and collective capacities. At first I thought “that’s not very much”- but then I realize it is a big deal. “We need to be the peace we want to see in the world.”
- I would like to ask the question: - (Gilles): We would like to get together every month for a phone council. We would like to get together in person in the Spring. Is this of interest to everyone?
- I feel good energy about coming to a monthly meeting. I have a commitment in March, not sure where I will be- but will be open to this.
- It would be great to meet once a month. The in-person meeting would be great, but not sure able to do it- but will do the call.
- I would welcome a call at least once or twice a month – to build the field between us and among us and face to face would be great to plan so that as many people as possible could come.
- A monthly call would be great- and if possible hold a local face to face gathering for those able to come.
- We have expanded the potential here.
- I continue to carry strong feelings of what the purpose of such a gathering would be- relationship building? I’d like to call in the energetic purpose and possibility.
As we close here- a last breath – if you could share one word:
- Beauty
- Momentum
- Gratitude for the space of dreams
- Breathe- if you inhale and exhale there is space in between
- Appreciation for fellow Gardeners
- Positive intention
- Gratitude and inspiration
- Peace we want to be in the world
- Joy
Gilles- in closing: I would like to share a quote from the Findhorn community in Scotland:
“Whether you tend a garden or not, you are the gardener of your own being, the seed of your own destiny.”
As harvested by Lenore. See below. Or download at: http://www.box.net/shared/a6d7bzq4gw
Harvesting Notes –
Gardeners of Peace Phone Council –
01.13.08
“How can we tap into the collective power of our hearts and become aware of our ‘real’ place in the world?”
“Whether you tend a garden or not, you are the gardener of your own being, the seed of your own destiny.”
The council was opened with a check in as to what brought people to the call and GoP:
- I am attracted to, in a simple way, the connection to the heart and soul
- Quote from Marcel Proust: “If a little dreaming is dangerous, then the cure is to dream more.”
- Dare to dream a little- wondered how this process would work out as we are usually problem solving groups. What else could the world be? What else is possible for us?
- I came to the call through a friend. I am a landscape architect, theatre before that. I help people create landscapes – am very spiritual. We are all changed by our conversations. I am familiar with circle work. The Native Americans (here in Southwest) use the talking piece as a ‘listening piece’- The speaker is being listened aloud.
- I am pleased to be on this call; am an Art of Hosting practitioner, interested in the power of place, and ‘breathing’ places.
- Congratulations (to GoP) for what you are doing. I am impressed by what you are doing to help others gather. What really made me think I would like to join is how positive you are- and how you hope for a positive world. In Rwanda, where I come from, this is lacking. It is vital to be with people who are positive. Important experiences in my life and heart have been when someone has told me that I helped inspire them- because I told her that we all have a mission in life and a reason we are here.
- Consistent theme in my life has been to listen with each other- the collective process/co-creation, where the unimaginable can come together. The edge- of not knowing. What will happen when we speak- this an edge for me. The garden is about seeds and flourishing; to dream together the most imaginable. I want to join more and more groups like this to participate in this collective process- that is emerging through us.
- When I received the invitation I was drawn to the call and message. I am not a gardener, but spiritual and want to create more peace in myself and in the worlds. Trying to get touch with my higher self and spiritual self. It’s always good to be with other positive people to help me/us hold the vision. The last few years I have been drawn from working with technology to working with people who are spiritual, healers, life coaching- still trying to get my mission in life and am getting there. I think this group will help me move forward.
- Thank you for inviting me to this collective group- a pleasure to listen and learn and to help.
- It’s great to be here- I agree with what has been spoken thus far. To be honest, one of my main interests is with a group I am involved with- Spiritual Progressives. There seems to be a lot of connection between the 2 groups. The interest is in dialoging about peace in the world. Drawn to our values, compassion, seeing the sacred in everyone on the planet. If you start with these values as opposed to political stands that can be divisive, you can share more with others- with their values. Spiritual progressives are helping me to develop my own inner energy (www.spiritualprogressives.org).
- I joined late and heard the last 4 speakers; I am drawn to the GoP (Gardeners of Peace) because I am in an important transition in my life after years of working without an inner sense of peace. I want to understand how I can contribute to the exchange here.
- I have been on a spiritual path – a meaningful one. I would like to share a story: I traveled to Singapore a few weeks ago. On the flights out and back, we had similar experiences related to rules and authority. This is not a coincidence as I have been trying to “fight” rules and authority in my life. The airport security in Tokyo would not allow us to bring duty free liquor bought in Newark, NJ (bringing to family in the east). Although we talked to them (security), they said there was nothing they could do. My wife even talked to the boss - who thanked her for her ‘understanding’ and then kept the bottle. We experienced ‘facing a wall’. On the way back, transiting in Beijing, we were late (sort of) in checking back in and found that our seats had been given away. We were seated very far apart (after having had reservations- and traveling a long distance). The person at the checkout counter was Chinese and my wife spoke with her. She wouldn’t hear her about our being late. It made me think about how rules are directing our lives and as such, I see the Gardeners able to co-create their own organic (non-rule abiding) structure- to me, this experience reflects on how much progress the world needs to make to listen to itself - not just blindly listening to a so-called ‘higher authority.’
The question was spoken about the ‘power of our collective hearts’:
-When we move into our hearts we are more in a dreaming place- we can move into a deeper place- we don’t’ know what will happen but that is part of the collective power of our hearts.
- I had no idea what to expect when I came to this call- everyone who has spoken has added some richness for me. The question of our collective hearts- if others can be as open as those on this call- it’s a beginning. It begins with love and eventually pours in and out of the group. I dream of this as a way of life for everyone- the fertilization of our soul- we are not centered- we are disconnected. I am not sure what I can contribute but something will come to me – and add richness to my soul and to this.
- I have had a lot living in me from my last week’s hosting experience. When I began to work with the group (educational admistrators), I began to talk about the open heart and moving into the open heart. The hosting team wanted to go into this space, not afraid. But they worried that their 20-30 colleagues would say this is ‘soft and flaky’. They warned us to be careful- “people are not going to go for this”. Over the next few days, the open heartedness expanded. The simple question was asked: “What is the passion and heart that brought people into the room?” This created space for engagement- the pace can work with them and work with us. At the end of the time, people were in tears- expressions of shock that they would be so open hearted after so long of not doing this. Sometimes it’s the very simple things that have impact.
- I can see why my friend referred me to this group- I hear the story ‘what is the thread that you carry no matter what you do?’ And what are the seeds? Seeds have seed coats- the shedding of the coat is an ‘aggressive’ process- it experiences fire, ice, and then shed. When we are working at our own lives, and reach something difficult. It’s not just opening our hearts to other people- if you were to think about a seed or a thread- what is the thread that you carry?
- Thoughts about the ‘collective’ come to me. I think about the earth ripples – not just the people on the call, but more ripples- the more we are opening our hearts- the more others will. Gardeners of Peace appear to me today as a community to ‘be’ rather than a group to ‘do’ (the GoP). It’s a question of the world- being a garden in the world.
- What came to my mind regarding collective power of our hearts – was the most connected I feel to others is when I am intentional. I have done Reiki- and I can send something into this group- what I heard in the beginning was that everyone is at a different place of wanting to transform. Reiki helps others transform into what other ways they would like to be. Sending Reiki – is power from the heart.
- The GoP – are about ‘being’ not ‘doing’. It is a container, a vessel, not rigid, but porous.
- The last few speakers have talked about ‘being’ in our individual and collective capacities. At first I thought “that’s not very much”- but then I realize it is a big deal. “We need to be the peace we want to see in the world.”
- I would like to ask the question: - (Gilles): We would like to get together every month for a phone council. We would like to get together in person in the Spring. Is this of interest to everyone?
- I feel good energy about coming to a monthly meeting. I have a commitment in March, not sure where I will be- but will be open to this.
- It would be great to meet once a month. The in-person meeting would be great, but not sure able to do it- but will do the call.
- I would welcome a call at least once or twice a month – to build the field between us and among us and face to face would be great to plan so that as many people as possible could come.
- A monthly call would be great- and if possible hold a local face to face gathering for those able to come.
- We have expanded the potential here.
- I continue to carry strong feelings of what the purpose of such a gathering would be- relationship building? I’d like to call in the energetic purpose and possibility.
As we close here- a last breath – if you could share one word:
- Beauty
- Momentum
- Gratitude for the space of dreams
- Breathe- if you inhale and exhale there is space in between
- Appreciation for fellow Gardeners
- Positive intention
- Gratitude and inspiration
- Peace we want to be in the world
- Joy
Gilles- in closing: I would like to share a quote from the Findhorn community in Scotland:
“Whether you tend a garden or not, you are the gardener of your own being, the seed of your own destiny.”
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